The Best of Nordstrom (is still freakin’ expensive).

Dear Nordstrom,

What’s up with you? I keep reading your OMG SALEZ!!!11!1! emails, and I’m not impressed. Yes, marking a hideously ugly coat woven with the tears of children down to $6oo (from $1,275) is a big markdown… but, um, it’s still a fugged up jacket for $600. Catchin’ my drift?

I am deeply sorry if Mama and Papa Nordstrom didn’t love you enough. Really. But honey, all the price jacked velour jumpsuits in the world aren’t going to fill the emptiness inside of you. Neither will the fortunes you charge for shipping.

Nordstrom, join a support group. One that can fill you in on reasonable markups and where to find models that don’t appear to have a bag-a-day coke habit. We’re all here for you.

Sincerely,

The Fashionable Gal

Michael Kors Kimono sweater, marked down from $109.50 to $59.90. While sixty bucks is still a hefty chunk of change to drop for a sweater, I happen to really love this one. Available in chocolate (pictured), black, or cream, this sweater is a piece that can take you from now to the spring.

Until temperatures completely plummet, I think this sweater would like adorable with a camisole underneath, ballet flats, and some funky jewelry. Oh, pants or a skirt would also be a plus, but that’s up to you. Seriously, the things that are passing as “dresses” on my campus nowadays… Wearing a headband around your waist and then tossing on a sweater DOES NOT an outfit make.

I’m kind of obsessed with this skirt. And by kind of, I mean, holy crap. It might be genius. The only problem is that you have to have absolutely zero body mass to make it work… Otherwise, it’s going to look like you jammed a rather large sausage into a very small air filter. At least, that’s probably how I’d look in it. *sigh*

If you happen to have the six foot long legs required for this skirt, please, buy it. It’s available in brown, as well, and can be yours for the discounted price of $104.90. Actually, you know what? If you have legs like that model, I’m pretty sure you can just get someone to buy it for you.

Oh, Nanette Lepore, thank you for this dress. I totally agree with your statement that: “Elegantly crisscrossed panels shape the fitted bodice of a strapless dress in a textured stretch-cotton weave.” If I had $159.90 to toss into the wind, I would so be owning this dress right now. I’m pretty sure that it would make one of my legs look fabulous. I’d have to drape some neutral fabric ’round the rest of me, lest I leave the house mostly nude, but still…

Also, please give your model a cookie… and maybe recommend a chiropractor for her. Something seems to be amiss with her head.